Life & Dreams

Well, today went to Hashita's farewell BBQ party as he is leaving Singapore soon to UK for his futher studies. Well, it seems after 3 years alot of us have our own dreams and life to fufill. Like Chee Siew, he been busy with his father's business at China even he got his own work commitment.

Very envy on them that now they can fufill their dreams. Not like me...I just a ordinary person. I want to be abit extordinary. Is it my mindset is not set properly? No...i just afraid...afraid of been losing out to my peers. Life in me seems useless...sometimes I don't even dare to dream of my future. I afraid that I couldn't survive in this world. I in doubt that whether I can really give someone happiness for the rest of her life. I can't make promise.

Thats why I still remains single. Alot of my friends keep on asking why I still single...bah bah bah... coz I am inferior that I can't be a good boyfriend or even a good husband. Thats why I keep my feelings inside and remains as friends. Maybe I too silly...well...its better to be friends as I don't want them to regret.

Well, after all the thoughts...I begin to question myself...am I really good for her? I know that I've have feelings for her...but does she have the feeling towards me?

I really in a dilema coz I have no intention to get married so fast coz by the time 2009. I will be ORD and i will be starting my new career and I might be going overseas to study my culinary skills and by the time i came back I will be around 30 years old. 5 years...will someone willing to wait for me? Thats why i don't want to get attach soon...coz managing a relationship for so long is tough and anything can happen at this long period of time.

Well...right now all I have to do is to concerntrate on my work and put more effort on researching new recipes and new culinary skills. All i need to do is depend on my fate.