Stress

The whole week i've been thru a very stress period. Why? Becoz one of my colleague gone AWOL ( absent without leave). In the military, it is very serious offence and this might have cause he to enter detention barrack.

At first, we have been searching for his news. We even went over his house to make an offical visit and I have to bare with soem emotions coz seeing his parents started to tear down. As an emotional person, I need to control.

For the next past few days, I tried to call his mobile phone but still unable to contact. Our worry is only whether is he still alright or have he been in some accident or not. But one of my colleague say that he will be okie as he know him so well that his inistinic say that he might be in the gambling ship. I also found out that he cheated me to transfer money to his account that he need to pay someone but will return to me on the following day but he didn't. I guess that he use my money to go to gambling ship to gamble. I dunno why he wanted to do that. This really make me sad but now all we need to wait for he to come back. So we waited and waited until thur, he finally call us that he will surrender himself on friday morning.

I felt a relieve at that moment, but now is the critical time as any people cma eto provoke him he might not come back so all we need is to pray that he come back.

Finally he came back and he was send for questioning and just before lunch time, i was called to the office and I was chosen to escort him for the next very hour. Whenever he goes, I was task to escort him.

I have to escort him to the commander office and it was so stiff and the environment was so quiet and he have to face the music and the punishment was to send him to detention barrack for 4 days starting on today (friday) so he will be release on monday. Thank God! I also didn't want to see that he got to harsh punishment. But i felt so sad that i need to handcuff him on the next very moment and have to send him to medicial centre for check up and then to the detention barrack.

On the way, we didn't chat much but I felt so sad that i dun even know wat to say. So all is that i told him we will wait for him and hope that this time he will do some reflection and most of all he can quit his gambling habit. Thats all I pray for.

Arrive at the detention barrack, I have to search his body again and ensure that he didn't have anything in his body and when i sign on the handling over form, emotion came and all i can do is to control it and make our final last word with him that we will see him on mon.

On the way back to camp, my mind is think what will happen on him and is it very tough inside? Questions keep popping out. But i guess that all the answers will got from him on mon ba.

Now I've to pray that he will be okay and may God bless him and make him do reflections for the next few days.

Troubles...

There are alot of things happen around me and yet i didn't making any effort to find someone to told about it. I know that the more i keep it to myself, i will start worry more and evntually just cannot take it.

Why i prefer keeping to myself than finding someone that i will speak up. Coz in my life i didn't make effort finding friends or my family...i always just a wanderer, aloner. Maybe it is just an excuse for it but I just dun wan anyone to start worry about me...

Well, maybe i think too much or consider for others but thats my character. Lately, my life had been a mess.

I know helping my friend to settle his loan and now there is a slight problem occuring and I guess i have to ensure everythings to be settle ASAP.

Another thing is that I abit worry about my mother that she told me that she mostly won't be have the energy to continue to work and my brother also will be starting to commence his studies this coming april and things just came in wave...I dunno how long i can hold on... Mostly i just want to pray for the brightest thing or miriacle to happen.

However, another things that really worries my is that will i able to leave the force in 2009? Its been a question mark for me. I still haven save up the money for me to study and I'm just afraid will I able to survive for the time when i leave the force.

I really dunno...all I need is to have financial freedom and able for me to breakthrough to serve to Lord.

Pray very very hard and hope for the best and wish my dark sky will clear!